Getting up early has been a challenge this week, the snooze button and I are well aquatinted. The hunk (husband) has been out of town so I didn't have to worry about the repeating alarm waking him. Today, though, when it suggested I get up, he was there saying, "are you hitting snooze again?" and I felt so tired that I convinced myself to turn it off and stay in bed. I was mostly awake as each of my children separately came into the room and joined us in the bed, their bodies stealing limited space in our queen sized nest. I was lying there thinking of all the stuff I wanted to be writing today or working on, plotting a break from the kids since the hunk was now home, noticing how cramped and sweaty the bed was getting and how sleeping with kids makes my back hurt. But I was also curled around my daughter, spooning her, my arm for her pillow and I was feeling rather content with my choice to stay in bed. When my arms were too asleep and my back too noisy, I turned away from spooning to face my son. His beauty surprised me. The whole moment felt heavy and pressed down with...presence? I think. Isn't it strange? How life can feel so weighted...even in happiness? My joy is thick this morning. It feels like spooning a child and staring beauty in the face and sleeping in with a backache and a hot blanket and then sneaking out from a bed full of bodies to take a shower and write this note. And then I realize, this is what stability feels like. I have always given joy a sideways glance, knowing that it doesn't last, I always want to be ahead of it. But today I think I see something else. I see that I can trust because Joy is a sturdy place and I can rest.
Do you hesitate when it comes to joy? A Well Session could be just what you need. I help my clients discover and create more sturdy, stabile lives filled with predictable joy. Call or email me! I would love hearing from you and am happy to take questions or thoughts. 720-675-9754.com or lorissa@thewellsessions