To be a mirror you must be willing
to see things
both beautiful and not.
To be a mirror you must be able
to fix your gaze on another
while not becoming another.
To be a mirror you must know how to reveal
the clearest versions of everything
You must also regard with insight your own shadow side.
Knowing wisely the difference between reflection and projection.
A murky, clouded mirror,
unaware that it's spotted and warped,
isn’t really a mirror after all.
Its more like a mud puddle.
A mirror allows itself
to be filled with light
and also acknowledges the dark.
A mirror is mindful and lives in the moment,
not holding onto it's knowledge,
but letting revelation come and go as it may.
It's usefulness is in it's presence,
not in it's skill or wisdom.
A mirror must be emptied of opinions
and momentarily removed from editorials.
A poorly revealing mirror is a problem
it tragically un-sees,
lets faces appear warped,
it darkens the goodness of it's seekers
and uses their intentions against them.
No mirror need ever worry about dictating right and wrong.
No mirror need speak directly or fix or doctor.
A mirror doesn't draw attention
to one part over another.
A mirror must be honest, but never ever harsh.
It needn't soften the scene.
It simply accepts,
A mirror knows that when the reflected is ready
they too will embrace
what the mirror has already allowed.
Goodness and shadow,
spirit and bone,
immortal and mortal,
possibility and acceptance,
all staring them in the face.
I've spent my fair share of time being a mud puddle in life. Unclear about who I was, I muddled my view of others and made everything about me. I know I've done it a million times, putting all my fears and needs and worries onto my children or my friends. I've acted like I loved them, but really was only trying to make myself look good. I've harbored judgments and fears and worse but gone through the motions of offering support.
It wasn't until I caught a clear and loving view of myself that I was able to do so for others.
Humans are wired for reflection. Our first understanding of who we are comes from the responses and expressions of our caregivers. We are born asking, "do you see me?" and the reactions we receive are recorded and imprinted upon our hearts as the answer. I believe life is about giving people a chance to become who they are intended to become. Whether we are parents engaging with children or adults engaging with peers, our purpose letting others come into full view of themselves.
Few of us have had the kind of loving kindness that affords our highest good and maximum potential. Rather, we have mostly looked into poor mirrors where people projected their own reactions or fears onto us and tried to control us. This means that we are often lacking a true sense of safety when it comes to self-development. People are bent towards and completely capable of meaningful growth. And they will meet their full potential not when they are told how to grow, but when they can see themselves reflected warmly in the eyes of another human being.
Do you find it hard to love people? Do you find yourself consumed with judgements? Are people in your life telling you they don't feel understood or heard by you? Do you often feel lonely within relationships? Are you embarrassed about your reactions to people, both significant and stranger? Do you think you're never going to get it right? Do you struggle with connection and calmness as a parent? Do you find yourself wondering why life is so hard for you but so easy for others?
Do you want to change all that?
Maybe you need a mirror.
The Well Sessions counseling is all about freeing yourself from a faulty image of who you think you are. With a limited or inaccurate idea of ourselves, we have limited and rigid behaviors.
Let me support your becoming. Together we will uncover your real intelligence and unlock possibilities.
Contact me today. I offer free consultations. Before you know it you'll be getting life changing counseling over the phone. I also lead intimate listening support groups for parents where people learn to reflect and find healing as a group.
Looking for a more practical post about improving your ability to be a good mirror? Click here for 6 great tips.