Helpful idea for your day:
Ever pulled out a Tupperware of leftovers and taken one whiff only to gag and toss it in the trash? Let’s be honest, I’ve thrown away entire containers!
All of us know and trust our sense of smell (albeit isn’t all that strong) as a reliable voice meaning, “Hey! Don’t eat that!!”
Well did you know that your feelings work in the exact same way?
Your negative feelings are helpful and accurate guidance letting you know that your CURRENT THOUGHTS ARENT GOOD FOR YOU!
It’s that easy.
In other words, if your thoughts cause you to feel bad... it actually means your thoughts AREN’T TRUE!
Who could you be today if you trusted all that emotion just the way you trust your nose...or your skin when it lets you know “ouch, that hurts!”
Yikes! That thought feels bad, I think I’d better think a different one.
Let’s try it.
Here’s a thought:
“I’m a failure”
How does that thought make you feel when you believe it?
Pretty bad right? Your brain probably calls up hundreds of memories appearing as facts to “prove” your point of view and before you know it you’re keeled over and lying in bed wishing it was all over already.
All that^ means “nope, not true...think again!”
Now how about this thought:
“I can see how I would have ended up where I am now based on the decisions I’ve made so far.”
(This takes away the judgement while still acknowledging the realty)
“It’s not exactly what I wanted, that’s true...”
“I don’t have to figure out all of those things right now in this red hot minute.”
What do you notice in your body when you think these?
Feels different huh? Calmer? Quieter? More manageable?
Yep, then that’s how you know those thoughts are “safe to think” for a life of free of thought poisoning.
Also, once you find a better stream of thought, you’ll be amazed to find more and more good feeling thoughts can come your way too. My examples are just the beginning!
“I’m seeing how I’ve actually come a long way.”
”I think most things have gotten better and better.”
Your emotions are one of the senses, they are helpful guidance always letting you know which way you’re going.
You’re not alone here....You’ve got a loud and helpful sensor built right in.
What could be possible for you if you could trust yourself again, follow what feels good and right, turn your face upward and know with your heart that you are ok?
You are ok. (How does that thought feel?)
Pa If you are arguing with the thought of being ok, that means you’ve got other thoughts coming in...who could you be if you didn’t believe those right now?
Who could you be, darling?
Perhaps you could be who you already are, beloved and good.
Always beloved and good.
Have you ever considered your life and the way things unfold? For example, everything you experience in your daily life, the look on that person's face when you walk in the room, the music playing in the car as you cross the street, the number in your bank account, the words someone speaks to you, the timing of your errands, the people you run into, what if that's ALL a reflection of you? A reflection of your inner world, of your thoughts and beliefs, of your individual perspective and point of view.
What's it like to think that life is a grand mirror, my darling?
Ever offering to you what you bring to it?
Ever so honest, much to my reluctance sometimes.
And yet, ever so reliable. It's not going to give me something I don't already bring with me.
It can be frustrating and humbling to see what's reflected back to me sometimes...the chaos, the conflict, the half-hearted or boring. It can be downright discouraging to see when I'm offered hatred or mental illness, insecurity or things that are really hard to swallow.
And yet it can also be so incredibly freeing because I know that if it all begins with me, then it can ALL begin with me! I'm no longer a victim of my circumstances, I can choose to create them as I wish.
I go through life with acceptance that it is always mirroring me. Knowing and believing that it can not be any other way because I'm the one seeing it, with my own perspective and my own experience and my own beliefs. I can not see or experience anything that I do not believe or think. It's impossible! Your perspective is your set of rose colored (or any kind of colored) glasses. You can't see things any other way than what's focused in.
Your perspective is like a radio station. You can't be tuned into the country music station and hear what is playing on the indie rock station. You have to change the channel.
That's the difference perspective can make.
And if you don't like what's coming in on your channel, it might be time to make a change! This can start with simply acknowledging that
Not only is this an issue of perspective, but it's also a matter of brain science!
Our brains get rewarded for finding similar patterns and will specifically find like things to focus on as a way to create and organize the information we are getting from the world. In other words, we find ways to prove what we already think is true.
Additionally, our bodies create and release hormones whenever we think thoughts. So if you have stressful thoughts, your body is releasing stress hormones which cause you to move and breathe and react in specific ways throughout your day. Further, other people and animals are always reacting and responding to the hormones we release (through smell and sense) which in turn causes people's emotional states to be somewhat "contagious".
In turn, the effect is mirroring. What is your world mirroring to you today? For most of us, it's a mixture of things. But many of us would like more order, more joy, more love and less of the unwanted/random/upsetting things.
Would you like to master your own inner world and create a more wanted and satisfying outer one? For you and everyone around you?
I can help.
My counseling clients benefit from learning tools that support their healing from old patterns of distressful thinking. They get to walk away from the effects of old traumas and outdated threat that have kept their brains and bodies always in stress mode. They get to exchange no longer supportive beliefs for empowering and alive ones.
I use evidence based practices to support these changes in my clients. Call or email me today for a free consultation and more information about how I do my work.
Did you get a chance to see me get cozy for a Pajama Chat with Brit Stueven of The Break Changer? We sat together by the fire and used my self-inquiry worksheets to create change and space around some distressful holiday thoughts. In the video we discuss our aha moments and explain more about this really helpful worksheet tool (as adapted by me, originally the work of Byron Katie). Get yourself a copy of my version below!
Get your *FREE* PDF file of the self-inquiry worksheets at this link!
If you'd like more support on using this incredible tool, I am available for individual sessions and offer free 20 minute consultations as well! Keep an eye out for upcoming workshops and how-to videos in the New Year!
Does this ever happen to you?
Are you curious about the self inquiry process I mention in the video? Wouldn't it be great if you could easily work through your distressful thoughts by asking first judgemental questions and second clarifying ones?
Get my free self inquiry worksheet! Simply fill in the form below and I'll email you a link to the free pdf. The self inquiry questions are a ground breaking approach to unhook yourself from the most getting exceptionally sticky thoughts and land yourself in the present moment with more clarity than you may have had in a long time.
What ideas come to mind when I ask the question, “who are you?”
Do you doll out a list of strengths and weaknesses? Give your enneagram number or relate the summary from a personality test? Maybe you think of a professional job or a personal role.
All of those answers are on point in so many ways, however, it’s unlikely that you walk away from that question with a stronger sense of security. Most of those titles could change, be lost, ebb and flow or simply become irrelevant.
So...who are you really? What’s at your essence? And how could experiencing (or knowing) the answer be a more effective way to be guided and supported in your every day life?
’m so excited to share this technique with you. In this brief intro video I’ll explain how to find the most connected place within yourself to lead you through times of inner chaos. I usually do this in more stressful situations, like before a big event, before a meeting with a new person, before picking up my kids from school or any other time I notice I’m feeling out of sorts.
But when I can find the answer, it always makes a world of difference. I go from being agitated to connected, anxious to calm, blaming to observant, judging to curious and more.
You can expect it to be somewhat complex at times (we all have some fairly loud/strong inner voices that can often masquerade as our core).
I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas. How do you want to use this tool? What do you find at your core? What difference does this make in your world?
More videos on this topic to come, I promise!
Have questions or want more support? Let’s connect. I would be honored to walk you through this process. Email me to start.